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All the bestest, mostest virile, super-hunks of all time have sported resplendent examples of facial hair on their upper lip. Think Adolf, or Josef, or Fidel, or Mouammar, or Saddam, or Vladamir or Che or Osama; all moustachioed super-hunks. Grow yourself a handlebar, a horseshoe, a chevron and in no time at all her perky cheerleaderness will dissolve into a pool of gooey cunt-juiced expectation and will be flicking up her skirting and ogling your trouser snake with barely a thought to strapping jocks. Probably best to avoid a Salvador or a Charlie or a Groucho though unless you're going for something more effete, mildly amusing or slightly surreal.Or, you might beat the jock at his own game by pre-caging yourself. I hear they are all the rage nowadays. Obviously, they are a lot smaller than the ones you were used to inhabiting back in High School. Nowadays they tend to be a lot more personal, a lot more specific, dinky little numbers that hug your insubstantial penis and mark you. I kept reading down the page, taking in the ‘seductive’ dress code, and the requirement to wear masks to ‘heighten coming pleasures’ and ‘preserve anonymity’. By the time I reached the sentence inviting guests to ‘indulge yourself as you wish’ it dawned that what had landed in my mailbox was, in fact, an invitation to a sex party.My instinctive first reaction was to quickly close the message window, not particularly wanting to get caught reading something that could likely get me in all kinds of HR hot water. Once I’d checked there was no one close enough to see, I opened it up again and forwarded to Adam.How did I get on this mailing list? I typed. Something you want to tell me?! I didn’t actually think he’d signed me up, but how I’d landed the invite was a mystery to me. Adam and I had an active and very enjoyable sex life, and sure, we might’ve talked about the fantasy of including other people (quelle surprise, he was turned on by the thought of me with another woman) but never.
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